He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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