Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
