We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
