How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
