my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Everything about him screamed your future.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
