I feel like I'm in dance class right now
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
