God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
