We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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