I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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