HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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