five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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