Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
