We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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