I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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