I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
