We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
