i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
We are all done wearing pants today
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