i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
