I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
