hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
He better not be in your backpack
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
