You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
