just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
