So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
