if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
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