At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Randomize
