He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Randomize
