My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
