Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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