Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Randomize
