oh and then you called a time out with your penis
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
