Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I'm passing your future prison.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
