She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
