it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
