If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
