I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize
