She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
