Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
