so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
