Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
