We're facebook friends in real life
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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