i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
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