Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
