she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
