The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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