just come out here and I will go home with you...
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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