just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
