I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
