So drunk its hurt
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
BRING THE BAGELS
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
