yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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