there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i would punch a child for taco bell
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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